A seasoned divorce attorney knows immediately at the end of
a case whether or not the soon-to-be former husband and former wife will be
returning to court in the near future and spending all of their college savings
for their children on attorneys while re-litigating issue after issue for the
next 15 years. A bad parenting plan is a
bad parenting plan. The term among
divorce attorneys and divorce judges is simply, "Garbage in, garbage
out," which means the skill and effort put into an agreement or trial is
directly reflected in the agreement or judgment by the Court. One section of your Marital Settlement
Agreement with Parenting Plan (MSAPP) is a parenting plan itself. Avoiding these top 10 parenting plan mistakes
may save you many thousands of dollars in the future and years of frustration
and inconvenience dealing with divorce attorneys and spending time in the
divorce courtroom.
The Top "10" Parenting Plan mistakes are:
1.
The use of a non-specific parenting schedule
(using terms such as "liberal and frequent time sharing") versus a
defined and understanding time sharing schedule.
2.
Failing to consider future residential moves by
either party, whether short or long distance.
3.
Failing to consider electronic document sharing
(health, education, extra-curricular activity, etc.)
4.
Failing to consider travel and travel
restrictions, including foreign travel to countries that are not parties of the
Hague Convention (this allows a mechanism for return of your child if
wrongfully detained in the foreign country.)
5.
Failure to discuss whether eye care, braces or
mental health, etc. constitutes health treatment, the initiations of said
treatment and the sharing of costs.
6.
If you child(ren) is(are) young, failing to
discuss changes to time sharing and other aspects of the Parenting Plan after
the child(ren) reach(es) a certain age and start(s) elementary school, middle
school and high school. Furthermore,
failure to discuss transportation issues for the child once he or she is 16
years old and he or she is of age to have a driver's license (i.e., automobile,
insurance, etc.)
7.
Failure to have a unified "chore" list
at both residences, and failure to have a unified "discipline" system
at both residences. Failure to define a
communication schedule and type of communication, including when, how often,
who pays for it, type (electronic, cell or landline, etc.) Some former spouses still enjoy being
passive-aggressive and calling the child at 6:45 a.m. when they know the entire
family is sleeping.
8.
Failure to discuss and develop a policy whether
pictures of your child can be posted on the internet (Facebook, etc.) by you or
a third party.
9.
What is the role of step-parents or significant
others? And for the purposes of
introduction, etc., when does that person become a "significant
other"? What is the role of
grandparents and extended family?
10.
Failure to define support and financial
planning. How much support will be paid
for matters as extra-curricular activities, tutoring, etc.? How will it be
paid? When will the financial obligation
end? College funds and life insurance
should also be defined, and again determine when the financial obligation for
those will end.
Please note the Florida Supreme
Court has a "form" Parenting Plan.
It is of essence to understand this is merely a form developed by one
committee. Pursuant to Florida Statute
Ch. 61, there are some mandatory provisions that must be incorporated in the
Parenting Plan. However, there are only
approximately six mandatory provisions in a Parenting Plan, and therefore you
can be as creative as you want in all other clauses. You can put anything you want in the
Parenting Plan as long as it is legal and your former spouse either accepts it
or you convince the Court to adopt it.
My clients have included clauses that include types of acceptable clothing
to wear at school (when they are concerned that the other parent does not have
adequate taste or maturity to properly dress a child); specific prohibition of
contact with known "bad" relatives; mandatory drug testing and the
consequences for testing positive for certain substances.
The Parenting Plan is your
opportunity to have a contract with your former spouse / parent / partner for
your child(ren) that will solely benefit the child(ren) by having consistency
and routine between the residences and a unified front, and a proper Parenting
Plan is the only way to prevent your child(ren) from playing the two of you
against each other, as they have keenly observed you and your former spouse
pushing each other's buttons for probably a long period of time and they have
observed precisely how you react (unfortunately, other than responding) when
said button has been pushed.
Your imagination is the only
limitation when developing additional clauses for your Parenting Plan. Remember, the power of the pen (or keyboard).
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