1. Please understand that many dates are set on calendars, for example: Case Management Conferences, Hearings, Depositions, Mediations, Conferences with your Attorney, etc., and it is often that these dates are changed with appropriate notice and sometimes at the last minute due to conflicts in Judges calendars, Attorneys calendars and other reasons. For example, if you have a deposition scheduled but the Judge sets a trial on one of the Attorney’s calendars, that trial will supersede the deposition and therefore cancel your deposition. I can assure you any cancellation of hearings, appointments, etc. in your case will only occur if the matter can be reset at an appropriate time It will be frustrating to you to see dates often scheduled and then rescheduled (sometimes multiple times.)
2. You will be tendering a lot of documents and information to my office. Often I may ask you for the same document two or three times. This is because if you have given me thousands of documents and it only takes you three minutes to find that document versus it will take my staff 40 minutes to find that document, and it is more efficient if I just ask you to provide that document again. So please do not be frustrated when you are asked to provide a document and you have already provided it once. You will be asked to provide many documents during this process as well as updates to those documents.
3. Please note your spouse will simply lie on many documents, including, but not limited to, financial affidavits. He or she may lie in depositions or may lie to the Court during hearings. Unfortunately this is reality. If someone perjures themselves, which is providing false evidence or testimony to a “material” issue, a complaint can be filled out at your local police department for prosecution. However, it must to be a “material” issue, and very rarely does this type of complaint tend to go anywhere. Our goal is to show to the Judge the “lies” and then your spouse has no credibility on any issues. This is very good for you.
4. The process is emotionally draining and it will make you physically tired. Your spouse will be pushing your buttons, and if you do not somehow figure out how to respond versus react to that button pushing, it will be a long 3 to 18 months for you. If you find a way to respond versus react and you engage in proper extra-curricular activities to take your mind off of matters, the process will be much easier. It is always wise, if you can afford it, to maintain a mental health counselor and go to counseling once a week for an hour.
5. Other frustrations will occur during your case and you must remember that no matter what, five years from now you will be five years older and one of the issues that is of the utmost importance to you today, you may hardly remember five years from now.
6. The reason this is a difficult process is because the Dissolution of your Marriage is dissolving a “business arrangement,” where the business arrangement involves emotional feelings and sacred bonds which have been violated. Resolving issues in this context can easily make a rational person become wholly irrational and make a good person do many bad things during this process.
You will get through it