Saturday, July 23, 2011


Your Divorce will involve me having to know everything about you—for better or worse, the good, the bad, the ugly.

We are all human. You know not one perfect person. Everyone in this Courtroom is flawed—the Judge, the Bailiff, the Attorneys. But you are the one sitting in the hot seat and it's your life that is being scrutinized and put under a microscope. I believe that it is only fair and right that if I am privileged to know everything about you, then you are entitled to know something or everything about me. That is, of course, if you care to know about me. I understand if you do not want to know me as well as I will come to know you. I invite you to ASK ME any personal question about me (as I did of you) and I will answer it. Yes, I may blush too, but I think equal footing is fair, under the circumstances. I literally "hate," (yes, "hate"—a strong and powerful and ugly choice of words) the person who thinks that they are better than anyone or someone else. Or worse, someone who acts like life is not difficult and they would have you believe that their own life is perfect. Let us be honest as humans and recognize that we are all doing the best we can, we all have problems, we all need help from someone else.

If you hired an attorney who thinks they are too perfect to share the personal details of their life with you (as you have just spilled your most personal details to them), then FIRE THEM immediately. It really should be that simple. After all, it's simply life here we are all struggling with. We are here to simply enjoy it and pass on to our next adventure. This behooves the question: "Why do we take ourselves so seriously?"

I currently represent an incredible Wife and Mother of four Children and her Husband "Bob" takes himself so seriously he has no idea the average person looks at him and thinks "What an IDIOT," as he is married to his money—not his beautiful and smart Wife and precious Children—but his money. Bob: Everybody is laughing at you so please seek help to save your marriage as your Wife and Children need you. Accept counseling with open arms and admit to your shortcomings as YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE GETTING BAD ADVICE from a lot of people. Oops! You might drop a nickle and not pick it up! If you are always looking down for money Bob, you will never ever raise your eyes to see your beautiful Family. Bob, you don't realize how so very lucky you are to have Lesa as your wife. You are just too much of a money grubbing, total Idiot to see the absolute beauty of your Wife and your Children. I pray this money obsession of yours is brief. Namasté.

Again, you can ask me anything, but beware as you might just be on the receiving end of some story of crazy wisdom or reflection of mind. Keep in mind you do pay me hourly.

(All names are intentionally fictitious).


Sunday, July 3, 2011

Your Child Thinks You Are An Idiot if....

If you and your former spouse despise each other so much that you have two (2) separate bat mitzvahs, I assure you she thinks you both are complete idiots, which I must concur with her that YOU BOTH ARE COMPLETE IDIOTS (to put it mildly)!