Saturday, March 31, 2012


You must understand and experience the emotional stages of your divorce before you can effectively settle or present your case at a trial. It is also to your advantage to be acutely aware of the stage or stages your spouse is in as each stage affects their ability to effectively negotiate or adequately assist their attorney to prepare for trial against you. The five emotional stages of your divorce are:

1) Denial- "this is not happening to me"
2) Angry and Resentment- "how can he/she do this to me"
3) Bargaining- "if you will stay, I will change"
4) Depression- "I do not think I can bear this"
5) Acceptance- "I rather accept it and move on than wallow in the past"

If your attorney knows what they are doing, they will observe you as your attorney should never allow your case to be at Mediation or settlement negotiations if you are in number 3 or 4, versus if your spouse is in number 3 or 4 (and you are not) than that might be an excellent time to negotiate your settlement. The ONLY time to present your case for a trial is if you are in number 5 as otherwise your testimony and ability to participate in your case will be .... let us just say not good!

Observe your spouse and what phase he/she is in as this will allow you to understand why they are acting the way they are acting and it will allow you to monitor their progress as once they are at acceptance, your case will usually resolve. If you have been ready to divorce long before your spouse, you may have been at the acceptance stage while they are just starting denial. Be patient and understanding with forgiveness and compassion as the only way to resolve your marriage is with honor and dignity. Honor defeats all malice and just bad people at all times. Do not fuck with Honor!

I look forward to meeting you in the field of Acceptance at the big tree called Honor.