Friday, May 21, 2010


During your divorce case, there will be many changes. Some of your goals and intentions in the beginning of your case may not be the same in the middle or end of your case. Change is a constant. It's okay to change your mind and your desires. Sometimes you will feel secure in the process of your case and sometimes you will feel unsecure in the process of your case. Remember you are working towards an end result, and facts in your life, your spouse's life and your children's lives can change weekly and monthly. If you understand and expect change during your case, it will be much less traumatic for you. Change can be a different or even a good thing to look forward to, as stagnation is rot, and nobody or nothing can grow with or from rot.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

When to Shut up

Often during a client consultation or conference, I am aware that my client is under so much stress and in so much pain that, although my mouth is moving and my words are emitting forth, my client is not hearing a word I am saying. This is a good time for me to remember to stop talking and start listening. (This is also a good time for a client to have confidence in their attorney's ability to do what is right and fair in the long term.) But once I realize it's time to stop talking and start listening, I have been amazed how clients often have the best ideas on how to proceed in their case or how to settle certain matters. I have seen it before, how interesting facts or ideas can suddenly emerge from the client in ways that were not asked or intended. Solutions are tricky and elusive and can occur when you become more aware of listening instead of talking. So, if you don't have any idea what's going on, and why, consider turning your seemingly irrelevant thoughts into specific questions. I do think it's o.k. to ask your attorney to shut up occassionally and just listen. You do have the best ideas.