If you and your former spouse have a toxic relationship, I can assure you it is detrimental to your child(ren). If you actually care about your child(ren) (versus a false social persona) there are seven (7) simple steps you may take to dissolve your toxic relationship.
You must do the following:
1. Admit I am in a conflicted co-parenting relationship;
2. Acknowledge that this relationship is not good for my child(ren);
3. Admit where I have done wrong;
4. Make a list of those I have harmed;
5. Apologize to those I have harmed;
6. Start the new co-parenting relationship this minute with a code of behavior /
In every situation do the decent thing; and
7. Take a daily inventory. See the mistakes and strive to do better.
It will help to keep a daily notebook with regard to your progress per these seven steps. The only question is whether you have the courage to do this, and whether your love for your child(ren) is greater than the conflict / despise / hatred you have for your former spouse. Only you can answer that question and only you can accomplish these seven (7) steps. Even if your former spouse refuses to change their behavior and he/she continues with a toxic relationship, you may lead by example for yourself, for other people, and most importantly, for your child(ren). Teach your child(ren) how a mature, aware and rational parent acts and responds. It is simple, and your child(ren) is(are) expecting and relying upon you to be the bigger person.