1. Please
understand that many dates are set on calendars, for example: Case Management
Conferences, Hearings, Depositions, Mediations, Conferences with your Attorney,
etc., and it is often that these dates are changed with appropriate notice and
sometimes at the last minute due to conflicts in Judges calendars, Attorneys
calendars and other reasons. For
example, if you have a deposition scheduled but the Judge sets a trial on one
of the Attorney’s calendars, that trial will supersede the deposition and
therefore cancel your deposition. I can
assure you any cancellation of hearings, appointments, etc. in your case will
only occur if the matter can be reset at an appropriate time It will be frustrating to you to see dates
often scheduled and then rescheduled (sometimes multiple times.)
2. You will be
tendering a lot of documents and information to my office. Often I may ask you for the same document two
or three times. This is because if you have
given me thousands of documents and it only takes you three minutes to find
that document versus it will take my staff 40 minutes to find that document,
and it is more efficient if I just ask you to provide that document again. So please do not be frustrated when you are
asked to provide a document and you have already provided it once. You will be asked to provide many
documents during this process as well as updates to those documents.
3. Please note
your spouse will simply lie on many documents, including, but not limited to,
financial affidavits. He or she may lie
in depositions or may lie to the Court during hearings. Unfortunately this is reality. If someone perjures themselves, which is
providing false evidence or testimony to a “material” issue, a complaint can be
filled out at your local police department for prosecution. However, it must to be a “material” issue,
and very rarely does this type of complaint tend to go anywhere. Our
goal is to show to the Judge the “lies” and then your spouse has no credibility
on any issues. This is very good for you.
4. The process
is emotionally draining and it will make you physically tired. Your spouse will be pushing your buttons, and
if you do not somehow figure out how to respond versus react to that button
pushing, it will be a long 3 to 18 months for you. If you find a way to respond versus react and
you engage in proper extra-curricular activities to take your mind off of
matters, the process will be much easier.
It is always wise, if you can afford it, to maintain a mental
health counselor and go to counseling once a week for an hour.
5. Other
frustrations will occur during your case and you must remember that no matter
what, five years from now you will be five years older and one of the issues
that is of the utmost importance to you today, you may hardly remember five
years from now.
6. The reason
this is a difficult process is because the Dissolution of your Marriage is
dissolving a “business arrangement,” where the business arrangement involves
emotional feelings and sacred bonds which have been violated. Resolving issues in this context can easily
make a rational person become wholly irrational and make a good person do many
bad things during this process.
You will get through it
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