Do They Really Care

A lot of people (attorneys, mental health counselors, expert witnesses) will act like they care about your case. Unfortunately, during my cynical days, I question whether everybody actually cares as much as they act. Go with your gut instinct and if you do not think anybody you are paying to help you with your divorce or other marital related issue actually truly cares about you, FIRE them immediately as your gut instinct is alway right. Remember, your attorney and any expert you hired works for you and you can fire them anytime you want too! Namaste.

Watch your Judge

Your divorce is a bench trial, which means a Judge decides your case not a jury. You can go sit in the Courtroom of your assigned Judge at most anytime they have hearings or trials. By watching your Judge on somebody else's case, you may understand how that particular Judge runs their Courtroom, and you may be a bit less nervous during any of your hearings or trial, and you may understand the process a bit more. It is also a good way to watch attorneys and other Husbands/Wives, and what tends to work in a case presentation and what tends not to work in a case presentation. If you are experienced at watching attorneys and Judges, you may develope an "eye" for the lazy versus not lazy ones. This could help you in your selection of an attorney and your case, as your case will change your life forever, hopefully for the betterment of yourself and your children (and even your former spouse as the only resolution is a fair win/win resolution for everybody).

Problems

A Divorce attorney (and Judge) can only resolve your legal issues. It is up to you to solve your problems. A Divorce attorney can make suggestions to you based on the facts and law of your case, but noboday can grow money on a tree for you. You must understand that after a divorce you will have more expenditures (two houses, etc.) and probably less income as time requirements from being apart will not allow either your (or your spouse's) career to be as effective in producing income versus when the two of you were together as a team. Money by no means is happiness and usually possessions and greed are the root of your problems, but notwithstanding that, it is always financially difficult after your divorce. If you understand this, it will be less of a shock to you and much easier to handle when it occurs, but then again, nobody knows what the future will hold for anybody. Life is an adventure so enjoy it, good and bad, bad and good. It is solely your choice.

Your Business

If you own a business that was started or acquired during your marriage, it is an asset to be divided between you and your spouse. There are many different ways to determine a value for your business. The part of your business that is related to your "personal" good will, that is you, is a non marital asset that solely belongs to you. However, the hard assets and the "enterprise" good will, are assets to be valued and distributed accordingly.

Marriage

Choose in marriage only a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man (Joubert) and choose in marriage only a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman (Kneller)!

Family and Friends

Every divorce is different. Your family and friends will tell you the outcome of thier divorce and that yours should have the same or similar result. Remember that every divorce is different and for many reasons, your divorce may have a completely different outcome. Because your family and friends do not know every fact of your marriage and they do not know the current state of divorce law, your divorce may have a different outcome than your family and friends' divorce. Family and friends are great for emotional, spiritual, moral and financial support, but they may not be the best source of legal advice. You do not need to justify anything you do in life to your family and friends, as you only need to justify your life decisions and actions to yourself. You are paying your divorce attorney a lot of money for his or her advice, so listen! Your attorney is trying to help you even though you may not want to here what they are telling you. A divorce will not fix the majority of your problems, it will only define your and your former spouse's legal obligations to each other and your children.

Divorce Attorneys

During my 21 years of being a divorce attorney, i have noticed three types of divorce attorneys. There is only one type that is good for you and your family. The first one would be somebody who is lazy and just not a good attorney. This type of attorney will harm you by not protecting your rights or failing to obtain a result via agreement or trial that will benefit you. The second is a smart attorney, but this type is just interested in proving to you that he or she can "win" no matter the financial or emotional devastation to you or your family. This type of attorney thinks they are "winning" something by getting something your spouse wanted in written form (agreement or court order) although nobody won anything due to the emotional and financial devastation to your family. There are no "winners" in a divorce. You need to avoid the first two types of attorneys at all costs. Talk to your friends and family with thier experiences with divorce attorneys. The third type of attorney is smart, competent, enjoys his or her job, and understands there are no "winners" in a divorce, and if two spouses are halfway reasonable, your case should be settled, and a trial should be a definite option to obtain your reasonable goals, but only an option of last resort. Be Careful, as you only have one chance to do your divorce right. Doing it wrong will affect you for a lifetime, and possibly your children.